God and the Archangel Gabriel create a paradise called Gibraltar... but...

God and the Archangel Gabriel were sitting on a cloud one day.

God said, "I know... let's create a Rock and call it Gibraltar!"

Gabriel took notes.

"We shall site it where it is warm in the summer but not too cold in the winter."

Gabriel scribbled away frantically.

"We'll make the people good natured, kind and tolerant of all races and religions" God boomed.

Gabriel replied, "Even the Jews and Muslims?"

"Yes. Even them" God replied nodding.

"We will place the Rock close to the ocean and sea, so that seafarers can stop and rest and mix with these lovely people. This Rock shall be beautiful with wild animals and flowers and in this Rock I want caves with stalagmites and stalactites that generations can see and enjoy."

Gabriel scribbled away.

"On their shores we shall create reefs and provide plentiful fish for food and enjoyment... And give them beaches with fine white sand and make sure they have clean seas."

At this point, Gabriel stopped taking notes and he looked up at his Master.

"Lord, why are you being so generous with these people?"

The Lord smiled. "Well, my son, I haven't told you yet who their neighbours are going to be!"

With thanks to Tommy for sharing this with me!

BBC News - UK 'sorry' for shooting at 'Spanish flag' buoy

According to BBC News, the UK has apologised to Spain after the Royal Navy used a buoy with the 'Spanish colours'... for target practice!

This is totally ridiculous! The Royal Navy has been using a flag like this, known as 'flag no 1', for target practice probably since Nelson's day... and certainly since long before I was in the Royal Navy.... and that's 30 years ago! Damn 'Sloppies' will whinge and complain about everything and anything in Gibraltar waters!

I've no idea why the UK is saying 'sorry'!! They should tell the Spanish to bugger off out of Gibraltar waters... and mind their own business!

It might help if the Spanish authorities learned about the International Flags Signal Code! They would see the flag in question, (shown on the Flags on the right), as used by the Royal Navy, the US Navy and NATO forces, which Spain is part of, includes what is known as 'Flag No 1'... which admittedly is very similar to the Spanish national flag... but is NOT the Spanish flag. It's just the flag representing the number 1! The Royal Navy use this for shooting target buoys, simply because of it's easy visibility!

Here's a video of HMS Scimitar, part of the Royal Navy's Gibraltar Squadron, being filmed retrieving the bouy after 'words' were exchanged with a unit of the Spanish Guardia Civil's Marine section:



One can see the buoy clearly in one of the sequences. It is obvious that this was NOT the Spanish national flag! The Spanish authorities are just intent on mischief... and 'winding up' the UK.

The UK should stop appeasing the Spanish... and all their whims... whingeing and complaints. What the UK should do is enforce the integrity of Gibraltar's territorial waters... in NO uncertain terms... before there is a serious incident!

In my Inbox today... Outsmart a woman... Are you kidding?

A man telephones his wife at home and says;

"Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for a fishing trip. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend for me? Oh and also... would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?

We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.

Oh! And please can you pack my new navy blue silk pajamas...? Thanks honey!"

The wife thinks this all sounds a bit odd... but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend the husband returned home... looking a little tired, but... otherwise, looking good. His wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass and a few Pike!" But he added;

"Why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

You'll love the answer!



The wife replies, "I did pack them... they're in your tackle box!!"


The moral of this story?

Never... Never... Never... try to outsmart a woman!!!

A Friend's memories of Thor in Vegas

Finally... a new post from me!

My apologies to any and all who may have (doubtful) missed my occasional postings.... but I've been a little low... and frankly not been too inspired to post about anything!

Today though... I was minding my own business checking out my Facebook when an old friend fired up the chat and said hello! She told me that she just had to tell me what happened to her yesterday... when she picked her little boy up from school.

Many years ago... I happened to tell her this joke about the Norse God Thor. Well... it just so happened that yesterday after school, her little boy reminded her of it. On the way home from school her little boy was telling Mum about his school day and that he had really enjoyed learning about the vikings and their God Thor! He couldn't understand why she was in hysterics all the way home... thinking about the joke he had recalled in her mind!

My friend brought a warm feeling to me today... telling me about this funny incident and I thought I would share the old joke with you here!

So Thor gets bored with the Valkyries and Sif up in Valhalla and decides to come down to earth in disguise to get a little action.

He turns up in Vegas and shacks up with a real paragon of beauty - her only slight fault being a strong lisp but... with the body of an angel!

So... she and Thor spend a whole week in their hotel room. Eating, sleeping and making love alternately.... sex, sleep, sex, eat, sleep... lather, rinse, repeatedly. For a whole week!!

By the end of the week, Thor knows he's found a wonderful girl and decides to let her know the majesty of his true identity. He stands before her at the foot of the bed, summons the lovely but lispy lady to his hand, and proudly says, "You know... I have to tell you... I'm Thor!"

She looks at him sleepily and replies; "YOU'RE Thor??! I'm sow thor... I can't even pith!!!!"

Still makes me laugh!! I hope you enjoyed it too!