Cats take their revenge on Coventry women

Following the story of The Cat, the middle aged woman and the wheeliebin earlier this week... cats start to get their revenge!



It just had to come!!

Jesus is watching you!

Here's a good joke... just received in my Inbox this afternoon, to break the monotony of your Monday... in case you need it!

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around... looking for valuables, when a voice in the dark said; "Jesus knows you're here!!"

The burglar nearly jumped out of his skin... clicked his flashlight off... and froze!

When he heard nothing more... after a bit... he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires... clear as a bell he heard the voice again: "Jesus is watching you!"

Freaked out... he shined his light around frantically... looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot!!

"Did you just say that? he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep", the parrot confessed, then he squawked;

"I'm just trying to warn you... that HE IS is watching you!"

The burglar relaxed and replied:

"Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"I'm Moses", replied the bird!

"Moses?", the burglar laughed.

"What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

The parrot replied.. nodding towards the corner of the room;

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus!!"

God and the Archangel Gabriel create a paradise called Gibraltar... but...

God and the Archangel Gabriel were sitting on a cloud one day.

God said, "I know... let's create a Rock and call it Gibraltar!"

Gabriel took notes.

"We shall site it where it is warm in the summer but not too cold in the winter."

Gabriel scribbled away frantically.

"We'll make the people good natured, kind and tolerant of all races and religions" God boomed.

Gabriel replied, "Even the Jews and Muslims?"

"Yes. Even them" God replied nodding.

"We will place the Rock close to the ocean and sea, so that seafarers can stop and rest and mix with these lovely people. This Rock shall be beautiful with wild animals and flowers and in this Rock I want caves with stalagmites and stalactites that generations can see and enjoy."

Gabriel scribbled away.

"On their shores we shall create reefs and provide plentiful fish for food and enjoyment... And give them beaches with fine white sand and make sure they have clean seas."

At this point, Gabriel stopped taking notes and he looked up at his Master.

"Lord, why are you being so generous with these people?"

The Lord smiled. "Well, my son, I haven't told you yet who their neighbours are going to be!"

With thanks to Tommy for sharing this with me!

In my Inbox today... Outsmart a woman... Are you kidding?

A man telephones his wife at home and says;

"Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for a fishing trip. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend for me? Oh and also... would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?

We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.

Oh! And please can you pack my new navy blue silk pajamas...? Thanks honey!"

The wife thinks this all sounds a bit odd... but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend the husband returned home... looking a little tired, but... otherwise, looking good. His wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass and a few Pike!" But he added;

"Why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

You'll love the answer!



The wife replies, "I did pack them... they're in your tackle box!!"


The moral of this story?

Never... Never... Never... try to outsmart a woman!!!

A Friend's memories of Thor in Vegas

Finally... a new post from me!

My apologies to any and all who may have (doubtful) missed my occasional postings.... but I've been a little low... and frankly not been too inspired to post about anything!

Today though... I was minding my own business checking out my Facebook when an old friend fired up the chat and said hello! She told me that she just had to tell me what happened to her yesterday... when she picked her little boy up from school.

Many years ago... I happened to tell her this joke about the Norse God Thor. Well... it just so happened that yesterday after school, her little boy reminded her of it. On the way home from school her little boy was telling Mum about his school day and that he had really enjoyed learning about the vikings and their God Thor! He couldn't understand why she was in hysterics all the way home... thinking about the joke he had recalled in her mind!

My friend brought a warm feeling to me today... telling me about this funny incident and I thought I would share the old joke with you here!

So Thor gets bored with the Valkyries and Sif up in Valhalla and decides to come down to earth in disguise to get a little action.

He turns up in Vegas and shacks up with a real paragon of beauty - her only slight fault being a strong lisp but... with the body of an angel!

So... she and Thor spend a whole week in their hotel room. Eating, sleeping and making love alternately.... sex, sleep, sex, eat, sleep... lather, rinse, repeatedly. For a whole week!!

By the end of the week, Thor knows he's found a wonderful girl and decides to let her know the majesty of his true identity. He stands before her at the foot of the bed, summons the lovely but lispy lady to his hand, and proudly says, "You know... I have to tell you... I'm Thor!"

She looks at him sleepily and replies; "YOU'RE Thor??! I'm sow thor... I can't even pith!!!!"

Still makes me laugh!! I hope you enjoyed it too!

In my Inbox today... Did you hear the one about the Bristol Zoo Car Park Attendant?

In my inbox today... the apparently true story and 'bit of a wheeze'... concerning a Car Park Attendant at Bristol Zoo.

An email currently circulating, tells the story as follows:

Outside Bristol Zoo, there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches. It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5. This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then one day... he just didn't turn up for work!

"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management, "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant..."

"Err no", said the Council, "that car park is your responsibility"...

"Err no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council... wasn't he?"

"Err NO!"

Sitting in his villa in Spain, is a bloke who had been taking the car park fees, estimated at £400 per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years!!

Assuming 7 days week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million... Fanbloodytastic!!

Nice story huh? Would that it were true! Unfortunately... it isn't!

According to snopes.com, this tale is "purely the stuff of fiction rather than fact".

The Bristol Zoo says it has never experienced any confusion over parking attendants, and that it has several attendants and more than one car park, none open to coaches. Moreover, in response to Snopes.com inquiries about the tale, a Bristol Zoo representative said:

We have had numerous similar enquiries lately but I can assure you that this rumour is not true.

A version of this story also appeared in the Bristol Evening Post back in 2007 but it was as part of a feature on urban myths published to coincide with April Fool's Day, not as a reporting of a real-life event.

Sad... I'd like it to have been true!

Bristol Zoo

Bristol Zoo Gardens is a 12 acre site in Clifton that is run by the The Bristol, Clifton and West of England Zoological Society Ltd.

Awarded ‘Zoo of the Year 2004’ by the Good Britain Guide, Bristol Zoo Gardens has a continuous reputation for excellence, innovation, and dedication to conservation. It’s the fifth oldest zoo in the world and the oldest outside of a capital city, and a long established major tourist attraction in Bristol.

There's no such thing as bad publicity! I bet though... that the carpark attendants at Bristol Zoo these days... are absolutely fed up of being asked... if they work for the Council, the Zoo... or themselves!!

In my Inbox today... How SOME men amuse themselves Tesco Shopping!

In my Inbox today... proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping!

This letter was actually (apparently) sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.

Eric Idle gets his tongue around the Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)

Whiling the time away on this rather dull and rainy Sunday evening... ahead of the announcing of the EU election results tonight, browsing round my Facebook, I came across this gem posted by one of my friends there. Since I haven't posted many 'Funnies' lately I thought I would share it with you here!

The 'Penis Song' (Not the Noel Coward Song) is a song originally from the Monty Python film The Meaning of Life and released on the album Monty Python Sings.

In the film, it is sung by Eric Idle at a piano in the persona of a Noël Coward-style lounge singer, hence the sub-title of the song 'Not the Noel Coward Song.'

Beginning by addressing his audience, the singer says:

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean!"

This initial innuendo is the opening gambit to the series of euphemisms that follow... alluding to male genitalia. The overall message of the song appears to be summed up in its opening line:

"Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?"

Naturally, I'm thinking it is... it is!! Ha ha!

Here's the video - Hope you enjoy it!



More info at 'Penis Song' (Not the Noel Coward Song) - information from Wikipedia

In my Inbox today... a possible cure for Swine Flu

In my Inbox today... a possible cure for Swine Flu...




Many thanks Joe R!!

Poet Laureates kindred spirits and personal ads

A thought provoking post today by 'Clouds moving in' about Poet Laureate and Kindred Spirits, congratulating the appointment of the new poet laureate, Carol Ann Duffy... a sentiment which I would like to share.

In her research for her post on the new 'Laureate' however, 'Clouds moving in's thoughts were strangely diverted and turned to the Daily Telegraph, that bastion of 'middle england' (perhaps a little more highbrow than the Daily Mail) and its 'Personal Ads'.

What she saw there has rather affronted 'Clouds moving in' and urged her to comment:

"Oh, and all the men seemed to have conservative/right wing politics. Hardly unexpected I suppose. Oddly, very few of them claimed to smoke.

Regardless of the political socio-economic issues, what really got up my nose was the idea that fat middle-aged men with a bit of money seemed to consider it their right to advertise for a younger, slimmer, slightly shorter, intelligent woman to do exactly what they were told. Oh, and attractive or very attractive of course - because women are only worth judging on their looks, aren't they?"

No... not at all! We also judge them on their ability to cook, sew, dust, hoover (when I'm at the pub or not watching the match), provide intelligent conversation ("would you like another beer dear" works for me). We also judge them on how much of a complete tart they can be in the bedroom! I could go on.

Anyhow, as you can imagine... I couldn't resist a reply... with my own 'personal ad':

Short stumpy balding toothless grumpy breast fed leftie commie smoking liberal (56) with very little money looking to share life and love with rich glamorous tall curvy sexy ladies (25 to 35). Must love football and beer. All replies will be answered! :)

Can't wait to review all the replies!!

Maybe you too would like to take up the opportunity offered here. It's bound to attract the interest from many likely ladies searching for suitable partners across the net. Don't miss your chance to find your preferred partner in life and love!

To post your 'personal ad' click here!

I do hope 'Clouds moving in' sees through my tonguey cheekiness!

Swine Flu worries reach Pooh Corner

Swine Flu worries have reached fever pitch... and are rife everywhere! They've even reached Pooh Corner!!

In my Inbox today... sound advice for men in relationships with women

Nine words (or phrases) women use... that men should not be confused by!






(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up!

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house!

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. 'Nothing'... actually means something... and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in 'fine'!

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not a permission. My advice... Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing).

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay dearly for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome". (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE evil sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' as that will only bring on a 'whatever' - see below).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying... F--- YOU!!

(9) Don't worry about it, I'll do it!: Another dangerous statement... meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now having to do herself. Very dangerous. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' (For the woman's response... refer to # 3).

Now... click on 'SHARE' below... and send this to the every man you know... to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember these simple words and phrases that women use... and their terminology!

You can also send this to all the women you know (but are not in a relationship with) to give them a good laugh, because they know it's ALL true!!!

Gibraltar... or Fraggle Rock the home of tea swilling crumpet eating money laundering pirate monkeys since the cavepeople

Did you know that Gibraltar was a large rock inhabited by cavepeople until 1704... since when it has been "lorded over by the British"?

Did you know that it is universally accepted that Gibraltar must never fall to the Spanish "because the monkeys WILL leave"?

Apparently, Oscar Wilde once said... "lets not pretend that Gibraltar is anything more than a rock"... and no he didn't invent the term 'Fraggle Rock' for it... and having said that, neither do I have any idea who did!

How well do you know Gibraltar's history? I bet you didn't know that in the 1700s Gibraltar was captured by evil fascist money laundering pirates who spoke Gibberish and were sent by the evil General Franco... or that the day was saved by James Bond who used his secret agent British skills to trick the pirates into jumping off the top of the rock like lemmings!

Are you aware that since 1704, when the British took over Gibraltar, Gibraltarians have been British and drink tea and eat crumpets with the rest of them? Well that is a fact. As is the fact that it was agreed it would be British forever under the Treaty of Utrecht and the Spanish have been trying to break that ever since. That IS mostly definitely... a fact!

Now... this may be true too. The people of Gibraltar are possibly the most confused people in existence, or who have ever existed.

A typical family group can be seen in this picture above.

They all speak Gibberish - in fact, they invented the language. They scorn the Slops, otherwise erroneously named (but not in my view) the Spanish, and the Giris, i.e. anyone else not from Gibraltar.

Fraggle Rock (as it should be more properly known) and it´s hangers on also expect everything for nothing, having been cocooned from birth from the outside world, and spoilt rotten by their mothers. Whatever you do when visiting Fraggle Rock, for God's sake don't try to chat up any Fraggle women. Fraggle men will immediately try to kill you, as they view all women in Fraggle Rock as a rare commodity available to only them.... and I have to say, what's wrong with that?

Uncyclopedia

All these gems and many other morsels of great import... can be found in Gibraltar - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia... a spoof website of Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia,. Perhaps it has to be said, whilst Wikipedia is a great and very informative site, sometimes it does take itself a little too seriously. Then again... perhaps as it should be.

Gibraltar - Uncyclopedia is hilariously funny and well worth a visit... and I congratulate whoever has created or contributed to this very funny satirical compendium of useless and totally untrue... well actually nearly totally untrue bits and pieces of information about Gibraltar. I much enjoyed the visit!

Wikipedia - The REAL free encyclopedia

A more truer (well pretty much) version and possibly more accurate information page on Gibraltar can be found at Gibraltar - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Total absence of humour renders life impossible

I've pinched that headline and well known quotation from the byline a friend of mine uses on forum posts... as I think it's particularly apt with this story today! (Thanks Joe R )

A cartoon about Professor Stephen Hawking which appeared in yesterday's regional newspaper, the Metro, has once again prompted the 'politically correct brigade' to come out in force this morning!

As I'm sure you are aware, Professor Hawking has motor neurone disease. He uses a wheelchair and speaks using a voice synthesiser. On Monday, Professor Hawking was admitted to Addenbrooke's Hospital, Cambridge with chest problems.

The cartoon, in the Metro yesterday shows two people discussing Professor Hawking. The caption says:

"I wonder if they've tried switching him off and switching him on again".

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the cartoon has caused offence in some quarters. The Motor Neurone Disease Association say the cartoon is "distasteful and it's appalling that the cartoon seems to mock disability".

But did you chuckle when you read the joke?

This morning on Nicky Campbell's phone-in on BBC Radio Five Live's Breakfast programme callers were asked about Britain's attitudes to disability - "are we prejudiced"?

Many callers held the view that Britain is prejudiced against disability and I would not disagree.

But, in my opinion, this cartoon has nothing to do with prejudice... or disability!! It's just a joke... and I would hazard a guess that Professor Hawking would be the first one to laugh at it!

Professor Hawking is held in great affection, not just in Britain but across the world. He is greatly admired for much more than just for his huge revealing contributions in the fields of cosmology and quantum gravity, or for writing his bestseller A Brief History of Time.

Professor Hawking has always reached our hearts through his indomitable spirit... his humanity... AND his ability at self-deprecation about his condition!

Professor Hawking has played himself on a Red Dwarf anniversary special. He played a hologram of himself on the episode 'Descent' of Star Trek: The Next Generation. He appeared in a skit on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and appeared on the Discovery Channel special Alien Planet. He has also played himself in several episodes of The Simpsons, Futurama and on episodes of Family Guy!

Frankly, those people taking offence about a silly and quite funny cartoon... should really chill out... and take a leaf out of Professor Hawking's own book... and get themselves a sense of humour in the same way as Professor Hawking has always shown.... with his ability at self-deprecation and great sense of humour!

Professor Hawking latest condition

Readers I am sure will be pleased to hear, as I was, that the latest news on Professor Hawking is that he is "comfortable" but still in hospital.

Cambridge University, his employers for the last 30 years, said Professor Hawking has undergone some tests on Monday at Addenbrooke's Hospital, Cambridge and that the 67-year-old was now "comfortable".

I am sure everyone will join me in wishing Professor Hawking well... and a quick recovery... back to his normal self. I hope someone keeps a clipping of that cartoon for him... as he's bound to be amused!

Read more about Stephen Hawking and about Self-deprecation @ Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

In my Inbox today... a dire warning on getting the wrong telephone number!

**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**

'Hello?'

'Hi honey.... This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No, Daddy.... She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause... Daddy says...

'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy... Right now.'

Brief Pause...

'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do... put the phone down on the table, run upstairs... and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy... that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway!'

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'

A few minutes later... the little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming!

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser... and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too...

He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window... and into the swimming pool... but I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it... he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead!!'

*****Long Pause*****

****Longer Pause*****

*****Even Longer Pause*****

**Then Daddy says,**

'The Swimming pool?...........

errr.... is this 486-5731?'

'No.... I think you have the wrong number.......'

In my Inbox today... A 'Home Depot' scam warning

I received a 'heads up' warning today in my inbox... for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.

It recounts how a friend of mine has, over the last month, become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.

He tells me how simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic and warns... "Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends"!!

Here's how the scam works

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.

It is impossible not to look!!

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet!

My friend tells me he had his wallet stolen on November 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th and the 24th 29th. Also December 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend!!

So tell your friends to be careful!!

P.S. Walmart has wallets on sale 2.99 each

What is Home Depot?

According to Wikipedia, The Home Depot is an American retailer of home improvement and construction products and services.

The Home Depot is the largest home-improvement retailer in the United States, ahead of rival Lowe's, and the second-largest general retailer in the United States, behind only Wal-Mart.

Headquartered in Atlanta, The Home Depot employs more than 331,000 people and operates 2,193 big-box format stores across the United States (including the 50 U.S. states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and Guam), Canada (ten provinces), Mexico and China!

I've already written to Atlanta... pointing out my blog post today... and asking for a suitable commission!

Les Barker's Guide Cats for the Blind

Some of you may know I have a slightly serious problem with my eyesight. I have a severe bout of glaucoma, which I am told will make me blind within my lifetime. A prospect that, whilst there are probably worse things, one nevertheless has to come to terms with... and prepare for.

So, I was doing a little bit of research and came across Guide Cats for the Blind. This was originally a poem written by a fella called Les Barker.

If you haven't come across Les before you can probably be forgiven as he seems to have kept a relatively low profile. I only recently discovered him myself... and I can tell you, he's a bit of a gem... a bit from the old school as it were... very funny and well worth listening to if you have a good sense of humour and enjoy hearing words put together well, as I do!

Here's an excerpt from one of Les' live performances of Guide Cats for the Blind, set to some amusing pics... of Maine Coon kittens:



Les Barker (born 30 January 1947) is an English poet. He is most well known for his comedic poetry and parodies of popular songs, however he has also produced some very serious thought-provoking written work.

The poem Guide Cats for the Blind led Les in an an unexpected direction. The poem was heard by Clive Lever, a keyboard player and comedy songwriter from Maidstone, who also happens to be involved with an organisation called the The British Computer Association of the Blind. The association runs a program called 'EyeT4all' which aims to make computers accessible to people who are blind or visually impaired.

Clive got in touch with Les, who agreed to the poem being used as the title track of a double fund raising CD. Les also agreed to the recording of a series of albums, in which his poems and songs would be recorded by artists from the folk world but also by well known celebrities from the entertainment and theatrical world. Presenters from all five BBC Radio stations featured on the albums and so far between £40,000 and £50,000 has been raised for the British Computer Association of the Blind's 'EyeT4all'.

So far three 'Guide Cats' albums have been produced, 'Guide Cats for the Blind', 'Missing Persians File' and 'Top Cat, White Tie and Tails'. A fourth album 'Catnav' is being prepared at the moment.

The CDs contain performances of Les's poems by members of the folk world like June Tabor, Martin Carthy, Steve Tilston, Mike Harding and Tom Paxton but also well known figures like Jimmy Young, Nicholas Parsons, Terry Wogan, Nicky Campbell, Robert Lindsay, Prunella Scales and Andrew Sachs.

Les' involvement with the British Computer Association of the Blind has been a new development for him and it has brought Les's work to a wider audience outside the folk club and festival circuit which has taken him very much to their hearts over the years.

Originally from Manchester he trained in accountancy before his talent for the written word was discovered. At first he toured around folk music venues as a solo performer then later with the Mrs Ackroyd Band (named after his pet mongrel dog Mrs Ackroyd).

Les is not a singer and the Mrs Ackroyd Band, with classically trained vocalists Hilary Spencer and Alison Younger and keyboard player Chris Harvey, have enabled Les' parodies to be performed live to enthusiastic response.

As well as touring Britain he has also performed in Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, the United States of America and Canada.

Les Barker recently had a heart problem which involved undergoing surgery, and he has had to disband The Mrs Ackroyd Band for the forseeable future but he has started solo gigging again and is happily well on the way to full recovery.

There is a growing campaign, by his folk fanbase, to get him chosen as the Poet Laureate for 2009. Even if this is not successful, it may bring his work to the attention of a wider public.... and I thought I would give this a helping hand tonight!

You can read more about Les Barker @ Wikipedia.

The grumpy old Gibo's still got it!

Yep... it seems like the grumpy old Gibo's still got it!

Seems I can still attract the attention of sexy blondes... in this case I've attracted the attention of a sexy Russian wordsmith!

Marina says I wrote a 'nice post about her' (well I did)... and now she's made a nice post about me too!!

One or two of her readers are a bit 'up in arms' though and not too complimentary either... coming out for her like knights in shining armour! ha ha Quite right too... all good fun guys!

Marina... however many guys you have helping you (behind the scenes... doing an excellent job too), like bees around a honeypot... I think all's well with the world... things as they should be and you are a clever girl Marina... and dead sexy! :)

Oh... any chance of one of your famous calendars?? Actually, I'll be happy with just a pic... especially if it's a signed one!?? :@:@ ;)

I take my hat off to... Marina the Very Sexy Russian 'Wordsmith'

If you're male and you haven't come across Marina, the very sexy Russian 'Wordsmith' before... then I can assure you you're going to enjoy this!

Marina Orlova is her full name... and she proves intelligence is sexy!

Marina is a YouTube celebrity and the lady behind (or is it in the forefront) of HotForWords, a site (apparently) dedicated to teaching students across the globe about the intricacies of language.... at least that's what the supposed basis is!!

As a way of introducing her to you (it's the best I can do I'm afraid)... here's one of my favourite recent videos of her, showing Marina teaching us... a 'Cure for Hiccups':



Apparently, Marina's love for words began because she wanted to learn English. "In Russia the best way to do that is to study philology, which gets into the origins of words," she says.

"This makes learning so much more interesting, and the result was that I eventually became a teacher for about 20 high-schoolers back in Russia.

It was a lot of fun, and the students never seemed to miss class!"

No, I bet they didn't. Hardly surprising!

Though she never planned on becoming an internet celebrity, Marina says it just happened. One day, she received an email that inspired her to reach out to new students, via the web.

"My two degrees in philology were going to waste and one day in 2006 a friend sent me an email which said ‘YouTube.com - check it out.’ That email changed my life! I immediately created a channel and started uploading videos."

The rest as they say... is history... as now, her videos have been viewed over 170 million times!!

With a new word each week, her virtual classroom grows daily. Her calendar girl good looks and intelligence have granted her quite an audience, but given the choice... would she rather be pretty or smart? "I'd rather be smart!" she says.

Yes Marina... quite right... me too!!

Call me an old cynic... and I really don't want to spoil any of the fun... but come on guys... I'm as red blooded as you... and there's no doubting the fact that Marina is delicious and sexy (and quite amusing too)... but you just got to see through this!! This is just a different (and clever granted) take on an age old idea... a new perspective in offering us red blooded males (with perhaps more money than brains)... SEXY ladies in the media!!

I bet my bottom dollar (not sure if that's a well chosen phrase) that Marina is not the only one 'behind' HotForWords... there's a hell of a lot more going on in that background... believe me... including a few clever techie geeks and marketing people!

But... do I care? Not a bit... in fact, I take my hat off to Marina today... for maximising her very obvious potential... and very attractive upfront future... in fact... I've joined 6,843 others and am now following her updates on Twitter... we don't want to miss our weekly dose of interesting etymology now do we??!

I take my hat off to... the kid who painted giant phallus on parent's roof

Tonight... I'm taking my hat off to the teenager who painted a giant phallus on his parent's roof!

BBC - Newsbeat are reporting the story of this 18 year-old who secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire.

Apparently, it's been there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.

Is that funny or what! lol