Eric Idle gets his tongue around the Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)

Whiling the time away on this rather dull and rainy Sunday evening... ahead of the announcing of the EU election results tonight, browsing round my Facebook, I came across this gem posted by one of my friends there. Since I haven't posted many 'Funnies' lately I thought I would share it with you here!

The 'Penis Song' (Not the Noel Coward Song) is a song originally from the Monty Python film The Meaning of Life and released on the album Monty Python Sings.

In the film, it is sung by Eric Idle at a piano in the persona of a Noël Coward-style lounge singer, hence the sub-title of the song 'Not the Noel Coward Song.'

Beginning by addressing his audience, the singer says:

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean!"

This initial innuendo is the opening gambit to the series of euphemisms that follow... alluding to male genitalia. The overall message of the song appears to be summed up in its opening line:

"Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?"

Naturally, I'm thinking it is... it is!! Ha ha!

Here's the video - Hope you enjoy it!



More info at 'Penis Song' (Not the Noel Coward Song) - information from Wikipedia

Disappointing predicted turnout in Gibraltar Euro Vote 2009

I am rather disappointed to read the predicted low turnout in Gibraltar, of around 35%, in its second ever participation in a European election.

Reading Brian Reyes' report in today's Gibraltar Chronicle is depressing and sad, especially after the right to vote in EU parliamentary elections, which Gibratar did for the first time ever in 2004, was so hardfought for... and only achieved after a EU court ruling!

In his Chronicle report, Brian Reyes says Gibraltar’s electorate "appeared to be largely indifferent".

"Throughout the day there was slow activity at the 12 polling stations around town, a trickle of voters compared to the last EU election in 2004.

Outside the polling stations, the police officers on guard duty looked bored. Inside, the civil servants idled the hours away and looked relieved whenever a voter stepped in.

The polls were open until 10pm and a surge in numbers was possible. But as this edition went to press, the indication was of a markedly low turnout by Gibraltar standards."

As polls closed at 10pm last night, the Chronicle reports just 7,166 voters had cast their ballots. That's only around 35% of eligible voters and well below the previous election in 2004, when the turnout was around 57%, a figure that Gibraltar has been proud of as it is significantly higher than the average turnout across Europe, which stood at just over 45%, for the 2004 elections.

The Chronicle reports that the ballot boxes are now securely locked up at the Supreme Court. They will remain there until Sunday evening when the votes will be counted, following the conclusion of all voting across Europe. Gibraltar’s results should be officially announced late on Sunday night, 7th June.

I'm hoping even with the low turnout... that the LibDems will still nevertheless, produce a good 'showing'... fingers crossed!

Footnote on being the 1st

Speaking about the LibDems, as regular readers of my blog will know, I have much enjoyed supporting Jonathan Stagnetto (seen casting his vote yesterday on the picture right - courtesy of Panorama), who is the first Gibraltarian to stand for election under the Liberal Democrats list in Thursday's vote. He is however, the second Gibraltarian ever to stand for election in a European Parliament vote, and I much enjoyed helping him with his campaign in a small way, with a little contribution helping to run his Facebook Group.

I was therefore interested to see this headline in Panorama: First Gibraltar candidate in a European election casts his vote for mainstream party. Not exactly a very clear headline (nothing new there from Panorama) or possibly accurate... but I do know what they mean... I think!

The Panorama report pictures Jonathan Stagetto voting and describes him as "the first Gibraltarian candidate to stand in a European Election with a mainstream party".

"Standing for the Liberal-Democrats, Jonathan Stagnetto - member of the Liberal Party of Gibraltar - was making local history as he cast his vote."

As Brian Reyes (journalist for the Chronicle and blogger) himself pointed out to me recently, when I first started excitedly blogging about Jonathan Stagnetto's standing for the LibDems in Gibraltar's Euro vote, he was not THE first Gibraltarian to stand for one of the main parties, in a Gibraltar (or any other) European Parliamentary election. That credit goes to Lyana Armstrong-Emery, who stood for the Green Party in the 2004 Euro vote. By most people's yardstick, these days, the Green Party IS 'one of the main stream parties' albeit not one of the 'big three' but it cannot be dismissed as a minor party any longer. Obviously I don't know what their vote will be in this election as yet... but I suspect it will be significant. Enough to be regarded as a 'main stream party' anyway!

So, either way, whether Panorama meant the 'first Gibraltarian candidate in a European election' or standing for one of the 'main parties' in a European election... I would have to dispute that... especially after their journalist colleague picked me up on it. In my defence, I did know Lyana had been the first ever to stand... only in my excitement... I forgot! Perhaps Panorama have made the same mistake? Then again, I might be 'splitting hairs'... Funny though!

Follow the EU Election Results

You can follow the European Election and view the results as they are announced here: BBC NEWS | Special Reports | Election 09

Gibraltar voting today in European Parliament elections

For the second time in its history, Gibraltar is today participating in elections for the European Parliament.

Over the next few days, some 375 million voters in 27 countries will go to the polls across Europe.

Gibraltar is part of the South West England Region constituency which also includes the Scilly Isles.

Writing in the Gibraltar Chronicle today, Brian Reyes reports the polling stations in Gibraltar opened early this morning and will remain open until 10pm tonight.

He recalls how Gibraltar had to fight hard to win the right to vote in European elections. The first time it did so was in 2004, when 57% of voters turned out to cast their ballot papers and included the first ever Gibraltarian, Lyana Armstrong-Emery who stood for election for the Green Party.

That percentage was significantly higher than the average turnout across Europe, which stood at just over 45%.

There are 20,413 eligible voters on the Gibraltar electoral register and officials are hopeful of a high turnout today.

"Despite high-profile canvassing by many candidates over recent weeks", writes Brian Reyes, "yesterday on Main Street there was none of the fevered discussion associated with a general election".

There was a general air of indifference, though some voters were passionately discussing – often in close detail – the pros and cons of voting for any particular party or candidate.

For many voters, the EU election presents them with a confusing array of choices.

At the polling station today, voters will have to pick from a list of 16 parties and candidates that campaigned in the South West region of the UK, the Scilly Isles and of course, Gibraltar, which has been visited recently by the 'big guns' from most of the main parties, including, Douglas Hague for the Conservatives and Simon Hughes from the Liberal Democrats.

Graham Watson MEP, who has been relentless in his support for Gibraltar and its interest in the Strasbourg Parliament during the last five years, particularly on human rights and the environment, also visited to support his local Liberal Democrat colleague and candidate, Jonathan Stagnetto (on the right of the picture with Graham Watson), the only Gibraltarian standing for this election.

It is largely due to Mr Watson, with his support for a Gibraltar candidate, that Gibraltar has its own Gibraltarian representative, in Jonathan Stagnetto, who is standing within the list of the only major party that has shown this important initiative on Gibraltar's behalf.

Some of the other candidates, says the Chronicle report, will be well known to everyone, including the three main UK political parties, while others may be more obscure. Still others will be known for different reasons, including one independent candidate Katie Hopkins who is an English Reality Television contestant, businesswoman and journalist, best known for her 2007 appearance on the third UK series of TV reality programme The Apprentice.

The South West/Gibraltar region has been allocated six MEPs, reduced from seven seats at the last election. The voting system is based on proportional representation and voters must pick just one choice out of the list of 16 on offer.

The party or independent candidate with the most votes will win the first of the six seats.

The subsequent seats will be allocated using a quota system designed to give a chance to parties or candidates with a smaller voter base than the main contenders.

The more seats a party wins, the harder it is to gain extra seats.

That means that the overall allocation of seats is more proportional to the number of votes received.

Parties have presented up to six candidates and each of the seats they win will be allocated in running order.

That means, writes Mr Reyes, "that candidates at the end of their respective lists – for example Jonathan Stagnetto, who is standing with the Liberal Democrats and is the only local candidate – are highly unlikely to win a seat". Quite so... but you never know!

Although the voting is taking place in Gibraltar today, the ballots will not be counted until Sunday evening and the results will not be known until later that night.

Meanwhile, the Gibraltar Government yesterday evening issued a statement that calls on voters in Gibraltar to "participate in the elections by casting a vote".

"In the Government’s view, people in Gibraltar should vote for the party that in their judgement and opinion, is best for Gibraltar, our sovereignty, self-determination and EU interests. This requires an assessment of past record, as well as, the commitment as a party to uphold Gibraltar’s interests in the future."

To my mind... no question who that might be. The Liberal Democrats win hands down... all due to the great work Graham Watson the LibDem MEP has done on Gibraltar's behalf at the European Parliament!

I have much enjoyed supporting Jonathan Stagnetto, helping his campaign on his Facebook Group. In a 'thank you' note to the Group last night, Jonathan wrote:

I would like to take this opportunity of thanking you for the tremendous support that you have all given me as the only candidate from Gibraltar contesting these European elections.

It has made life much easier for me to know that so many of you actually took the time to sign-up to this Facebook Group in support of my campaign.

I would also like to thank the Liberal Democrats for having included me on their list. They have shown that only a visionary political party like the Liberal Democrats had the courage to make a commitment of this type and at this level. I have no doubt that this decision to include a Gibraltarian in their list has made these elections more relevant to Gibraltar. It has proven the Liberal Democrat commitment to Gibraltar, particularly that of current MEP Graham Watson and his team.

I urge all of you who are eligible, to go out tomorrow, Thursday 4th June and vote Liberal Democrat!

Hopefully this campaign can prove to be the prelude to greater Gibraltarian involvement in Europe and a greater participation in future European elections.

Thanks again for your support!!

I think Jonathan has fulfilled his wishes. He has conducted a very dignified campaign and, in my somewhat biased view admittedly, I think he has "made these elections more relevant to Gibraltar". It's certainly proven the Liberal Democrat's and Graham Watson's commitment to Gibraltar, that's for sure.

For myself... it has been a pleasure and a privilege to help, albeit in a small way and I offer the Liberal Democrats in Gibraltar and Jonathan Stagnetto in particular, my very best wishes for the future, whatever the outcome is in Sunday's result!

You can follow the Election and view the results when they are announced here: BBC NEWS | Special Reports | Election 09

Duff refuses to answer questions on being British

You may have read my post a couple of days ago, where I laid into my incumbent LibDem MEP, Andrew Duff (the 'Old Duffer'), in the East of England EU constituency, about his apparent anti-British, anti-democratic and anti-Gibraltar stance.

My discovery of his attack on Gibraltar and how proud Gibraltar was when celebrating 300 years of being British, calling it "tawdry nationalism", incensed me. I am particularly aggravated by his support for Spain's continual bullying of Gibraltar and his disregard for the freely and democratically expressed wishes of 30,000 European British citizens!

This put me in a bit of a quandary as to who to vote for today. To resolve my quandary I contacted Linda Jack (who is listed 2nd in LibDem East of England list) and she, unlike the 'Old Duffer', had the courtesy to reply... in fact within about half an hour.

This is what Linda Jacks had to say on being British:

Where I stand on Britishness. Like you I have served in the armed forces and continued to serve my fellow citizens in public service since.

I consider myself patriotic, if elected I will not only be representing the interests of the East of England but also the nation as a whole. Because of my commitment to my country I am also committed to seeing the success of the EU, we truly will be "stronger together". I am certainly not a little Englander, and frankly, like many of my fellow citizens would not be here at all if it hadn't been for cross European immigration!

There is much to do to reform the EU to make it more democratic and effective - to ensure it truly upholds the very values expressed in the Lisbon Treaty.

That's good enough for me... and I thanked Linda for her candid, courteous and prompt reply. She WILL have my vote!

I AM still very pissed off with Duff

As for the 'Duffer'... I am still very pissed off with him... especially since he has not had the courtesy to reply to my two emails and various Tweets on Twitter!

Clearly... he does not want to answer... or considers he can avoid answering my questions without regard for me... or for the electorate. That in itself says a lot about him!

I shall continue to pursue him for an answer on where he stands on being British.

With this in mind, I have contacted all the local newspapers and one or two of the nationals too... (not my comic but The Sun likes a good rant about EU anti Britishness so I included them!) hoping to interest them on the news... that Andrew Duff evades the straight question on where he stands on being British... and why does he negate the rights and freely and democratically expressed wishes of 30,000 European British citizens!!