Whiling the time away on this rather dull and rainy Sunday evening... ahead of the announcing of the EU election results tonight, browsing round my Facebook, I came across this gem posted by one of my friends there. Since I haven't posted many 'Funnies' lately I thought I would share it with you here!
The 'Penis Song' (Not the Noel Coward Song) is a song originally from the Monty Python film The Meaning of Life and released on the album Monty Python Sings.
In the film, it is sung by Eric Idle at a piano in the persona of a Noël Coward-style lounge singer, hence the sub-title of the song 'Not the Noel Coward Song.'
Beginning by addressing his audience, the singer says:
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean!"
This initial innuendo is the opening gambit to the series of euphemisms that follow... alluding to male genitalia. The overall message of the song appears to be summed up in its opening line:
"Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?"
Naturally, I'm thinking it is... it is!! 
Here's the video - Hope you enjoy it!
More info at 'Penis Song' (Not the Noel Coward Song) - information from Wikipedia
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Eric Idle gets his tongue around the Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)
Monday, June 01, 2009
Wishing Susan Boyle well...
I'm sad to hear the news that Susan Boyle has been admitted to The Priory clinic amid fears over her health following Britain's Got Talent Final on Saturday.
Britain's Got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle has been taken to the Priory clinic after the Saturday night TV show final left her 'exhausted and emotionally drained'.
'She has been seen by her private GP who supports her decision to take a few days out for rest and recovery,' said a statement from programme-makers Talkback Thames.
In my blogging about her.... I've always thought she's a bit of an 'oddball'. The mind is a very fragile thing... and the line between being doolally and 'normal' is very fine... and in any case... what IS normal? Remember the Jack Nicholson film 'One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest'? That film said it all!
The turn of events during the last day or so are sad for Susan but she's in the right place and I hope they give her the care she needs and help pull her back on track after the huge pressure and change in her life recently.
I wish her well and hope for a speedy recovery!
You can watch the video of her great performance on BGT Final on Saturday here. Can't post it here as 'embedding' has been disabled by YouTube for some reason.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Susan Boyle not quite 'on the mark' on Britain's Got Talent semi final
Two weeks ago, Susan stunned the world with her rendition of I Dreamed A Dream from the musical Les Miserables. She was simply fantastic... and the whole world agreed.
Since then, she has appeared on 'Larry King Live', on 'the Oprah Show'... and over 100 million people across the world have watched her videos on YouTube.
I don't know about you, but during the last two weeks, I have felt the expectations building up in a way that must have put huge pressure on her. As Simon Cowell says on the video below:"The whole world is watching Susan Boyle perform tonight. I wouldn't want to be standing where she is right now!"
Well, in the event, sadly, last night... that pressure showed!
In the BGT semi-final last night, Susan Boyle was clearly very nervous. Right from the first note of 'Memory', the 'Cats musical classic', Susan's voice cracked and she missed the note. Her breathing seemed to me laboured... and she knew it. You can see her in the video... clutching her tummy following that note. As a result, the combination of the pressure on her and the knowledge that she had missed that important first note also affected her timing... and it all came close to falling apart for her.
To her credit.... she kept on and she did manage to pick herself up about halfway through the song... but again at the end... I'm afraid she had difficulty maintaining that very difficult high note... her voice quavering badly!
What do you think? If you missed her performance last night, you can judge for yourself. Here's Susan Boyle singing 'Memory', from the classic musical 'Cats' on Britain's Got Talent semi-final last night:
On her debut, there is no question Susan 'nailed' 'I Dreamed A Dream'. Last night... she didn't 'nail' 'Memory', arguably, a much more difficult song. The nerves and the pressure... sadly beat her!
Nevertheless, it was still a 'goodish' performance, and there's no doubting her obvious talent... she has a remarkable voice and can sing... no question about that! She also has a capturing personality... if slightly 'oddball'!
If she's going to win this year's BGT, Susan needs to get hold of herself, calm down and dominate her totally understandable nerves. She'll need to show us her 'real stuff' next time round... and once more 'nail' whatever song she chooses. She will also need to be careful with that choice!
I like her a lot. I love the joy she clearly feels when she sings for us. It's an intrinsic part of the charm we all recognise in her. I also like her personality with that hip swivelling stuff when she's excited... though some disagree. One comment I saw says "it was cute once... maybe... but it's time to move on". Trouble is... it wouldn't be her then would it? I like her as she is, that's part of her 'oddball' charm... and her 'man of the moment'... Piers Morgan, thinks so too!
Here's a funny excerpt of the goings on backstage last night from Piers Morgan's blog:"I'm also never going to forget what happened to me at 10:32pm last night.
Because that was the moment when Susan Boyle ran down a flight of stairs at the Fountain Studios in Wembley, North London, flung herself into my arms, and planted a five-second 'smacker' right bang on my lips!
It wasn't entirely unexpected.
A few minutes earlier, Susan had declared her feelings towards me in a rather more public way by dancing a little jig of joy on stage after winning last night's first Britain's Got Talent semi-final, and shouting: 'THIS IS FOR YOU, PIERSY BABY!'
But that was positively restrained compared to what happened backstage.
To say Susan was pleased at getting through to the final is probably the understatement of the century. You have to remember that until a month ago nobody had ever heard of her, but now she is the most downloaded, and talked about, woman on the planet. The pressure that comes with all that attention is absolutely huge, and I could tell she was incredibly nervous when I spotted her standing on her own in a corner backstage before the show started.
Then she came out and missed her very first note on Memory, and I think everyone watching feared it had finally got to her.
But Susan quickly recovered, got into her stride, and ended up delivering an absolutely stunning version of the Cats musical classic that brought house down, and thrilled the world all over again just as she did in her original audition.
If you thought she looked thrilled on stage, you should have seen her off it. She was absolutely exploding with excitement, relief and pure, unrestrained joy.
'You did it!' I said to her, as I spied her heading up the stairs near the judges' dressing room area.
'Oh Piersy!' she shouted, then skipped down the stairs, jumped on me and kissed me full on the lips for quite some time.
'I've been kissed now!' she laughed, then she danced another jig, and ran off again.
I'll be dining out on that for the rest of my life!
If you agree with my comment and thought Susan Boyle looked nervous when she stepped on stage to sing Memory, you'd be right. That's because during rehearsals, Susan nearly fell over as she walked toward her microphone, on the stage.
More evidence of her obvious nerves can be found on Susan's BGT blog, when she said, "I got a bit of shock during rehearsals... I nearly fell flat on my face"!
Following this close call, to keep accidents at bay, the soles of Susan's shoes were apparently scored so they gripped better and Susan breathed a sigh of relief when she made it across the stage.
The Lothian lady enjoyed her time backstage preparing... although the pampering made her a little perplexed.
She told us, "Every few minutes, someone comes up to me and asks me to back to make-up"."I've been in there three times already - but I keep going back again.
It's all going to be very thick by the time we get to show time.
It's a job that's never finished... like painting the Forth Bridge!"
Well... one thing those horrid people can't make any more stupid comments about are her eyebrows. (as they have done). These have clearly been worked on... and she looked very good and still very much herself. As I say, she does have an 'oddball' sense of humour and capturing personality.
I very much hope she does a little better for the Britain's Got Talent Final... and hope she wins... but lots to do... and she hasn't got this in the bag... yet!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I take my hat off to... Joanna Lumley the Gurkha's 'Goddess'
Joanna Lumley, seen on the right with David Cameron, Bob Russel and the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg celebrating the Gurkha vote against the government two weeks ago, has won the hearts of so many of us across the country in the process of this campaign.
Speaking on behalf of the Gurkha Justice earlier today, Joanna said:"We simply would not have won this fight without the massive, overwhelming support of all those who have supported our campaign.
To the hundreds of thousands of people who have signed Gurkha Justice petitions, lobbied their MP, campaigned, attended rallies and marches - thank you so much to you all. This is your victory. It would not have happened without you.
The whole campaign has been based on the belief that those who have fought and been prepared to die for our country should have the the right to live in our country. We owe them a debt of honour - a debt that will now be paid.
I am delighted, and humbled, at what has been achieved by our remarkable team."
Joanna Lumley's words, as always are very dignified, modest and humble. I think we all know that had it not been for her leadership and aplomb in the handling of such an effective campaign, the Gurkhas would have been waiting for their rightful justice for a very long time to come... if ever!
Whilst I have no doubts, many in the Gurkha Justice Campaign team have put a great and valiant effort into bringing about a successful conclusion to the Gurkha cause, I'm sure I echo the sentiments of most of the British people, in thinking that they would not have been able to swing it, without this amazing woman's charismatic leadership.
In Admiration of our Purdey
I'm sure like many of you, I have been a long time admirer of Joanna Lumley, long before she ever came to prominence with the Gurkha Justice Campaign... or indeed with 'AbFab' (Absolutely Fabulous)!
Joanna Lamond Lumley, OBE (born 1 May 1946) is an English actress, best known for her roles in the British television series The New Avengers, Sapphire and Steel, Absolutely Fabulous and Sensitive Skin. She is also a former model, a human rights activist (best known for her support for the Gurkhas and the exiled Tibetan people and government) and an animal welfare activist.
As Purdey, Joanna was a character in the British TV series The New Avengers screened in 1976-77. She was the delicious bob-cut haired spy working for British intelligence, partnering John Steed (Patrick Macnee) and Mike Gambit (Gareth Hunt).
Gurkha Justice Campaign
In 2008 she became the public face of a campaign to provide all Gurkha veterans who served in the British Army before 1997 the right to settle in Britain. Those serving after 1997 had already been granted permission but the UK Government had not extended the offer to all of the Gurkhas, who are natives of Nepal.
Gurkhas have served Britain for more than 200 years with over 50,000 dying in service, and 13 have been awarded the Victoria Cross. On 20th November 2008, Joanna Lumley led a large all party group including Gurkhas starting from Parliament Square to 10 Downing Street with a petition signed by 250,000 people (including yours truly).
In her support of the Gurkha Justice Campaign, on 24th April 2009, she stated that she was 'ashamed' of the UK administration's decision to affix five criteria to the Gurkhas' right to settle in the UK. With the support of both Opposition parties and Labour rebel MPs on 29th April 2009 a Liberal Democrat motion that all Gurkhas be offered an equal right of residence was passed by Parliament, thereby forcing the resistance of Ministers like Phil Woolas and the Prime Minister's hand, to have to rethink their earlier decisions and with the event, make a spectacular U-turn, as announced today by Home Secretary Jacqui Smith.
When asked by a BBC reporter, why she had fronted the Gurkha Justice Campaign, she replied, with her usual humility and great dignity:
"I did it in memory of my beloved father, for my love and respect of the Gurkha and for the people of Britain, who wanted this to happen!"
The amazing and at times humourous (unintentionally I'm sure) campaign Joanna Lumley has run on the Gurkha's behalves has won the esteem and respect of many across Britain. Some are even calling for her to run for Parliament, though as far as I know, she has not commented on this possibility.
One wag on my Facebook home page called for her to be elected Prime Minister (not the only place I have heard this call). I replied, reminding my friend that there will shortly be a vacancy for Speaker of the House of Commons:
"She's done pretty well, leading these naughty boys by the nose so far... she only just stopped short of pulling Minister Phil Woolas' ear the other day! I'd certainly give her my vote if I could."
I am full of admiration for this Lady, who has shown such dignity, humility and sheer panache, bringing much badly needed integrity and pride back into British homes and public life... and I take my hat off to her! I hope she is made a Dame now... she thoroughly deserves it and we could well do with people like her in the 'Lords'!
AAYO GURKHALI!!!!
As I said in my earlie post today... I do also hope the BNP are listening... and squirming!!
More information about Joanna Lumley @ Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Victory for Gurkha Justice campaign restores a little pride in British democracy
At midday today, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith made an announcement to the House of Commons that the Gurkha Justice Campaign have been fighting for for years. All ex-Gurkhas who have served more than 4 years in the British Army will have the right to settle in the UK if they wish.
After such a long fight, with huge ups and downs, "this is a superb announcement", said the Gurkha Justice Campaign.
The Government has now responded to that campaign after court cases, votes in Parliament, a huge media campaign and, most importantly, massive public support.
Speaking on behalf of the Gurkha Justice Campaign, Joanna Lumley, who has led this remarkable campaign and won the hearts of so many of us across the country in the process, said:"We simply would not have won this fight without the massive, overwhelming support of all those who have supported our campaign.
To the hundreds of thousands of people who have signed Gurkha Justice petitions, lobbied their MP, campaigned, attended rallies and marches - thank you so much to you all. This is your victory. It would not have happened without you.
The whole campaign has been based on the belief that those who have fought and been prepared to die for our country should have the the right to live in our country. We owe them a debt of honour - a debt that will now be paid.
I am delighted, and humbled, at what has been achieved by our remarkable team."
Joanna Lumley's words will echo the sentiments of most of the British people, I'm sure and I for one congratulate the Gurkha Justice Campaign team and everyone who supported this very worthwhile cause.
I think the most important point is this... that in this campaign it is democracy that has ultimately triumphed... albeit it with a Government having to be dragged kicking and screaming... (with some Ministers even being pulled by the nose) to finally be shamed into doing the right thing... something rare in Parliament in this day and age!
My best wishes to all Gurkhas and their families who will now be able to enjoy a life in the United Kingdom, without hindrance and who have been embraced by the affection and gratitude of the British public!
AAYO GURKHALI!!!!
As a little footnote... I do hope the BNP are listening!!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Parky sets record straight about Jade Goody comments
Veteran broadcaster Sir Michael Parkinson, in an article and video for the Daily Telegraph, says his comments made about Big Brother star Jade Goody in the Radio Times just after she died were directed against the society and the television show that created her rather than the star herself.
Sir Michael's setting the record straight' follows his attack on Jade Goody mourners last week, when he claimed the death of Jade Goody, the reality TV star's death, was exploited by people who 'pretended to be sad.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Neil Sedaka's 'Going Nowhere'... a song for our time perhaps
Lord knows there is enough to thoroughly depress us out there in our news media today... what with MPs reducing the 'mother of parliaments' to morally defunct disrepute, continuing conflicts across the world, concerns over climate change and how best to deal with it... the hysteria about swine flu... thankfully now calming down to more sensible proportions!
But... that's the news... and I guess it's 'business as usual'. Not too many positive stories are ever published and they're rarely 'breaking news'.
But... taking all this into account, it did strike me today, that Neil Sedaka's wonderful song... 'Going Nowhere' IS a song for our time.
My thoughts turned to this song last night, when a friend on Facebook posted a video (as we do) of 'Laughter in the Rain'
One of the best songs, at least for me, in the album was 'Going Nowhere', a powerful song full of paradoxes. A mixture of despair, with some very depressive sentiments... and, curiously, at the same time, full of hope!
The song always brings a tear to my eye! Have a listen and see what you think:
Powerful... thought provoking stuff eh?
In case you missed anything, here's the lyrics:
'Going Nowhere' Lyrics
Considering...
So many folks, dissatisfied with everything,
Who need someone to understand they're lonely, they're lonely,
And they're not alone.
And everywhere
They shrug their shoulders, tell themselves that they don't care,
And all the while they make believe they're happy, oh they're happy,
But not really.
And they're asked to hold the world together,
Make it happen, give it children,
Who in turn are turning on to going nowhere.
And all the strength they'd ever need to help them
Has been wasted, remains hidden,
In the confusion of going nowhere.
And who am I...
To criticize the world that I have grown up in.
Most of you would tell me that I'm crazy, yes I'm crazy,
I can't help it.
I understand
That where you are is where you've been so many years,
And things that tend to change you, tend to hurt you, yes they hurt you,
Very deeply.
And still you try to hold the world together,
Make it happen, give it children
Who in turn are turning on to going nowhere.
And all the strength they'd ever need to help them
Has been wasted, remains hidden,
In the confusion of going nowhere,
Going nowhere,
Going, going, going nowhere,
Going nowhere.
Other versions
Whilst for me... this song will always be Sedaka's own (well he did write it and sings it rather well), another version which I really like, strangely, is the Lena Zavaroni version.
Lena Zavaroni was a Scottish child singer and a television show host... and a bit of a sensation in the mid 70's following an appearance on Hughie Green’s Opportunity Knocks.... much like Susan Boyle on 'Britain's Got Talent' recently.
With her album 'Mama! He's Making Eyes At Me' at ten years of age, she is the youngest person in history to have an album in UK album chart top ten.
Later in life she hosted tv shows and appeared on stage, often with Bonnie Langford. Sadly, Lena died at the age of 35 after a long battle with anorexia nervosa.
Here's Lena in 1981, aged only 18 years old singing 'Going Nowhere' live. A very powerful performance... and one that, in the light of what was to take her from us so soon... is all the stronger for it. Very sad!
Related Links
More information on Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Neil Sedaka
Lena Zavaroni
Monday, May 04, 2009
Higgins looking like the Champ... as Willie continues to be a pain and thorn in my ears
Snooker World Championship Final on Eurosport!! :(
This is solely because of the BBC Snooker producers' insistence to select Willie Thorne as commentator... despite his widespread unpopularity. Unbelievable!
Thorne's 'machine-gun' like 'motor mouth' commentary, with continual inanities... constantly predicting the outcome of shots wrongly... and speaking through important shots... (well every shot!) is just exasperating!!
In complete contrast, Joe Johnston's commentary on Eurosport UK is much easier on the ear... and blood pressure!!
Having had my little rant... things are looking distinctly bleak for Shaun Murphy having just lost the afternoon session 1-3. At the break, John Higgins is 14 - 6 up. Barring an amazing comeback by Murphy, a feat never seen in a Snooker World Championship Final at the Crucible... Higgins is looking like a Champ! On the balance of play... he well deserves it!
Update - 21:05
Congratulations to John Higgins on achieving the inevitable... and becoming for his 3rd time... the World Snooker Champion!
Not one of the 'classic' finals... but nevertheless well deserved!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I take my hat off to... Frank Lampard... for standing up for himself!
The Chelsea and England midfielder Frank Lampard angrily phoned a London Radio station to round on a DJ who said he was "scum" for splitting up with the mother of his two children!
Lampard said the LBC 97.3 DJ James O'Brien was an "idiot" for upsetting his family on the first anniversary of his mother's death.
He also rejected suggestions that he'd treated his former partner badly since they split.... and I take my hat off to him for having the courage to stand up for himself in the face of this type of unacceptable intrusion by broadcasters into a footballer's private life!
I'm no Chelsea supporter... but I've long been an admirer of Frank Lampard... an exceptional footballer, a great role model and example to all... of a consumate professional.
Like Ballack, his playing colleague at Chelsea, I can't believe Lampard missed the shortlist for the Professional Footballers' Association's player of the year award.
Lampard has played a key role in Chelsea's recent run of only one defeat in their last 13 matches.
He set up both goals as Chelsea beat Arsenal at Wembley on Saturday to reach the FA Cup final, and put in an inspirational performance in last week's dramatic 4-4 draw with Liverpool that saw Chelsea progress to the Champions League semi-finals.
Ballack, who plays alongside Lampard and Michael Essien in Chelsea's midfield, remains adamant the England international should have made the final six.
"It is easy to play with Frank because he is such a good player," Ballack explained."He knows what myself and Michael have to do and whether we should be in an offensive or defensive position.
I play a little bit behind him but I don't have to tell him what to do. He always does the right thing, depending on where myself and Essien are.
Frank is one of the best players in the world for sure and I don't think there are many players in the Premier League like him."
I couldn't agree more... and I take my hat off to him... Good on yer Frankie!
You can hear Lampard's phone call to LBC here:
Friday, April 24, 2009
Home Office treatment of Gurkhas shames us alll
In September 2008, the High Court ruled that immigration rules denying Gurkhas who retired before 1997 - about 36,000 - an automatic right to stay in the UK were unlawful. As a consequence, the Home Office were made to review their criteria.
Following the announcement from the Home Office's Border Agency this morning, Gurkha Justice Campaigners have reacted with anger to the new rules on the eligibility of Gurkha veterans to live in the UK.
The Home Office announcement this morning said that new rules would allow about 4,300 more to settle, but the Gurkha Justice Campaign said it would be just 100.
Actress Joanna Lumley, a campaigner for the Gurkhas, said the announcement made her "ashamed of our administration". Other members of Gurkha Justice called the announcement a betrayal".
Immigration Minister Phil Woolas denied he had betrayed the Gurkhas:This improves the situation.
It has never been the case that all Gurkhas pre-1997 were to be allowed to stay in the country. With their dependents you could be looking at 100,000 people.
It's simply not true that we have betrayed the Gurkhas. When people read the guidelines they will see the sense of them."
However, Peter Carroll, from the Gurkha Justice Campaign, said the fight to allow the Gurkhas to stay in this country would continue with renewed vigour, and added:"The one group of people that has never let this country down has been let down today in a manner which is truly appalling."
David Enwright, a solicitor representing the Gurkhas, said:"This government, Mr Woolas, should hang their head in shame so low that their forehead should touch their boots.
This is a disgrace and a betrayal of our armed forces and our veterans."
I wholeheartedly agree. The treatment these loyal and dignified Gurkhas are receiving from this government is shameful!
To my mind... ALL Gurkhas that have served in the British Army... should, as an automatic right be allowed to live in the United Kingdom if they wish to do so, in the same way as other people from the Commonwealth who serve in the British Armed Forces are allowed to do!
When one considers the hundreds of thousands of highly dubious people that the Home Office allows to remain in the UK, for one idiotic reason or other, it makes one's blood boil to see how the Gurkhas, a hugely more deserving people by anyone's yardstick, are having ridiculous and restrictive obstacles continually placed in their way.
This is another nail in this Government's coffin! They continue to cause the country embarassment and their petty decisions shame us all... worst of all, they are out of step with the wishes of the country at large! The vast majority of people in the UK would have absolutely no problem in accepting ALL Gurkhas who have served, and their families if necessary, to live and work in the UK... without restriction!
You can support the Gurkha Justice Campaign here.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
'Auntie Beeb' has lost all sense of decorum!
Sheeesh! Is nothing sacred anymore?
On BBC1 just now... in between the ending of Traffic Cops and the 10 o'clock news, the duty presenter said:"Now... on BBC2... a couple of reasons to join Graham Norton... Katie Price!"
In any case... I'm afraid... Jordan just doesn't do it for me. I like my 'couple of things' to come with another thing... a brain up top! Oh... and as I understand it... they're false anyway aren't they? 
Read more about Jordan (Katie Price) @ Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Total absence of humour renders life impossible
A cartoon about Professor Stephen Hawking which appeared in yesterday's regional newspaper, the Metro, has once again prompted the 'politically correct brigade' to come out in force this morning!
As I'm sure you are aware, Professor Hawking has motor neurone disease. He uses a wheelchair and speaks using a voice synthesiser. On Monday, Professor Hawking was admitted to Addenbrooke's Hospital, Cambridge with chest problems.
The cartoon, in the Metro yesterday shows two people discussing Professor Hawking. The caption says:"I wonder if they've tried switching him off and switching him on again".
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the cartoon has caused offence in some quarters. The Motor Neurone Disease Association say the cartoon is "distasteful and it's appalling that the cartoon seems to mock disability".
But did you chuckle when you read the joke?
This morning on Nicky Campbell's phone-in on BBC Radio Five Live's Breakfast programme callers were asked about Britain's attitudes to disability - "are we prejudiced"?
Many callers held the view that Britain is prejudiced against disability and I would not disagree.
But, in my opinion, this cartoon has nothing to do with prejudice... or disability!! It's just a joke... and I would hazard a guess that Professor Hawking would be the first one to laugh at it!
Professor Hawking is held in great affection, not just in Britain but across the world. He is greatly admired for much more than just for his huge revealing contributions in the fields of cosmology and quantum gravity, or for writing his bestseller A Brief History of Time.
Professor Hawking has always reached our hearts through his indomitable spirit... his humanity... AND his ability at self-deprecation about his condition!
Professor Hawking has played himself on a Red Dwarf anniversary special. He played a hologram of himself on the episode 'Descent' of Star Trek: The Next Generation. He appeared in a skit on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and appeared on the Discovery Channel special Alien Planet. He has also played himself in several episodes of The Simpsons, Futurama and on episodes of Family Guy!
Frankly, those people taking offence about a silly and quite funny cartoon... should really chill out... and take a leaf out of Professor Hawking's own book... and get themselves a sense of humour in the same way as Professor Hawking has always shown.... with his ability at self-deprecation and great sense of humour!
Professor Hawking latest condition
Readers I am sure will be pleased to hear, as I was, that the latest news on Professor Hawking is that he is "comfortable" but still in hospital.
Cambridge University, his employers for the last 30 years, said Professor Hawking has undergone some tests on Monday at Addenbrooke's Hospital, Cambridge and that the 67-year-old was now "comfortable".
I am sure everyone will join me in wishing Professor Hawking well... and a quick recovery... back to his normal self. I hope someone keeps a clipping of that cartoon for him... as he's bound to be amused!
Read more about Stephen Hawking and about Self-deprecation @ Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Scottish newspaper reveals Susan Boyle's first ever recording
I'm still completely bowled over by Susan Boyle... and today even more so!
I just came across this 'exclusive' from the Scottish Daily Record revealing Susan's first ever recording, made back in 1999, when she sang that famous old blues ballad 'Cry Me A River' for a charity CD... and as you can hear... it's quite simply... brilliant!
Quite remarkable! I don't honestly think I've ever heard this song sang better... ever!
Only 1000 copies of the disc were ever produced, but as you can see, the Daily Record got hold of this long-forgotten recording and it’s now on YouTube.
A showbiz insider said: “This is a real coup for the Record. The whole world would have wanted to find this.“People will be scrambling to get their hands on this CD. They will be like gold dust soon.”
It's already all over eBay... with loads of obvious recordings of this bit of audio on this video... available for only 99p... to the full CD currently being bid for at £280... clearly this is going to become a collector's piece... oh and there are hundreds of 'I love Susan Boyle' t-shirts too!!
What a phenomenon Susan Boyle is. 'Overnight sensation' doesn't begin to describe the sensation Susan has become... worldwide... in just a week. By this weekend, clips of her singing on Britain's Got Talent had notched up almost 50 million views on YouTube!
I think the explanation is in this article on the BBC's Entertainment page 'How Susan Boyle won over the world'. Here, Lisa Schwarzbaum, a writer for US celebrity magazine Entertainment Weekly said "the performance was a powerful reality check". She wrote:"In our pop-minded culture so slavishly obsessed with packaging - the right face, the right clothes, the right attitudes, the right Facebook posts - the unpackaged artistic power of the unstyled, un-hip, un-kissed Ms Boyle let me feel, for the duration of one blazing showstopping ballad, the meaning of human grace.
She pierced my defences. She reordered the measure of beauty. And I had no idea until tears sprang how desperately I need that corrective."
Yep... I think she's hit the nail on the head. That is precisely what is going on here!
Ms Schwarzbaum's post was followed by comments from scores of readers (they're still posting today) saying they watched the clip repeatedly, with the same emotional response... in fact, if you read my original post... you'll see my reaction was also pretty much the same:"Susan Boyle creates one of those moments... when the hair on the back of your neck tingles... and for no apparent reason... one stupidly feels like crying.... well those of us who have a heart that is!"
Friday, April 17, 2009
Susan Boyle... already the peoples' winner
With over a staggering 8 million views now on her YouTube videos, she's already the people's winner!
Clearly... she's also a winner with Britain's Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, as you can see from this video!
Can't wait for this week's show... Britain's Got Talent!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I take my hat off to... Susan Boyle... who Wowed us on Britain's Got Talent
I like to watch Britain's Got Talent now and then during the initial stages, mainly because I can't get enough of the delicious Amanda Holden!
To be fair, most of the acts one sees at this stage are pretty much... forgettable.
Now and then though... the programme throws up some amazing gems... which leaves us 'drop jawed' and stunned... amazed in the realisation... that there ARE some fantastic hidden talents out there in Britain! Remember Paul Potts or Connie Talbot?
Saturday threw up such a moment... and brought us Susan Boyle, truly a gem from West Lothian!!
Susan Boyle's story is very ordinary... her looks are... it has to be said, with all due respect to her... very ordinary too. But boy... when she started to sing, her powerful rendition of I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables (or Les Mis as it's popularly known), it really made everyone sit up!
Susan Boyle's beautiful voice, in perfect pitch, surprised everyone... especially the panel members who's stunned look was hilarious.... judge for yourself:
Note: Unfortunately... for reasons best known to YouTube, the embedding of this video has been "disabled by request"!! (Whose request I wonder... the programme makers??) Anyway... there's loads of Susan Boyle videos available on YouTube... click here!
Amazing right?
Susan Boyle creates one of those moments... when the hair on the back of your neck tingles... and for no apparent reason... one stupidly feels like crying.... well those of us who have a heart that is!
Amanda Holden said it was a "complete privilege listening to that"... and I'm pretty sure you agree right? I hope you too thoroughly enjoyed Susan Boyle's first moment of stardom. I'm betting it won't be her last!
Good on yer Susan... I take my hat off to you!!
Update - Wednesday 15th April 2009 : Tonight... the sensation Susan Boyle has created... with nearly 8 million views of her various videos on YouTube... has propelled Susan to even make it on BBC 1's Evening News at 6 o'clock!
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Les Barker's Guide Cats for the Blind
Some of you may know I have a slightly serious problem with my eyesight. I have a severe bout of glaucoma, which I am told will make me blind within my lifetime. A prospect that, whilst there are probably worse things, one nevertheless has to come to terms with... and prepare for.
So, I was doing a little bit of research and came across Guide Cats for the Blind. This was originally a poem written by a fella called Les Barker.
If you haven't come across Les before you can probably be forgiven as he seems to have kept a relatively low profile. I only recently discovered him myself... and I can tell you, he's a bit of a gem... a bit from the old school as it were... very funny and well worth listening to if you have a good sense of humour and enjoy hearing words put together well, as I do!
Here's an excerpt from one of Les' live performances of Guide Cats for the Blind, set to some amusing pics... of Maine Coon kittens:
Les Barker (born 30 January 1947) is an English poet. He is most well known for his comedic poetry and parodies of popular songs, however he has also produced some very serious thought-provoking written work.
The poem Guide Cats for the Blind led Les in an an unexpected direction. The poem was heard by Clive Lever, a keyboard player and comedy songwriter from Maidstone, who also happens to be involved with an organisation called the The British Computer Association of the Blind. The association runs a program called 'EyeT4all' which aims to make computers accessible to people who are blind or visually impaired.
Clive got in touch with Les, who agreed to the poem being used as the title track of a double fund raising CD. Les also agreed to the recording of a series of albums, in which his poems and songs would be recorded by artists from the folk world but also by well known celebrities from the entertainment and theatrical world. Presenters from all five BBC Radio stations featured on the albums and so far between £40,000 and £50,000 has been raised for the British Computer Association of the Blind's 'EyeT4all'.
So far three 'Guide Cats' albums have been produced, 'Guide Cats for the Blind', 'Missing Persians File' and 'Top Cat, White Tie and Tails'. A fourth album 'Catnav' is being prepared at the moment.
The CDs contain performances of Les's poems by members of the folk world like June Tabor, Martin Carthy, Steve Tilston, Mike Harding and Tom Paxton but also well known figures like Jimmy Young, Nicholas Parsons, Terry Wogan, Nicky Campbell, Robert Lindsay, Prunella Scales and Andrew Sachs.
Les' involvement with the British Computer Association of the Blind has been a new development for him and it has brought Les's work to a wider audience outside the folk club and festival circuit which has taken him very much to their hearts over the years.
Originally from Manchester he trained in accountancy before his talent for the written word was discovered. At first he toured around folk music venues as a solo performer then later with the Mrs Ackroyd Band (named after his pet mongrel dog Mrs Ackroyd).
Les is not a singer and the Mrs Ackroyd Band, with classically trained vocalists Hilary Spencer and Alison Younger and keyboard player Chris Harvey, have enabled Les' parodies to be performed live to enthusiastic response.
As well as touring Britain he has also performed in Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, the United States of America and Canada.
Les Barker recently had a heart problem which involved undergoing surgery, and he has had to disband The Mrs Ackroyd Band for the forseeable future but he has started solo gigging again and is happily well on the way to full recovery.
There is a growing campaign, by his folk fanbase, to get him chosen as the Poet Laureate for 2009. Even if this is not successful, it may bring his work to the attention of a wider public.... and I thought I would give this a helping hand tonight!
You can read more about Les Barker @ Wikipedia.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The grumpy old Gibo's still got it!
Yep... it seems like the grumpy old Gibo's still got it!
Seems I can still attract the attention of sexy blondes... in this case I've attracted the attention of a sexy Russian wordsmith!
Marina says I wrote a 'nice post about her' (well I did)... and now she's made a nice post about me too!!
One or two of her readers are a bit 'up in arms' though and not too complimentary either... coming out for her like knights in shining armour! ha ha Quite right too... all good fun guys!
Marina... however many guys you have helping you (behind the scenes... doing an excellent job too), like bees around a honeypot... I think all's well with the world... things as they should be and you are a clever girl Marina... and dead sexy! :)
Oh... any chance of one of your famous calendars?? Actually, I'll be happy with just a pic... especially if it's a signed one!?? :@:@ ;)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I take my hat off to... Marina the Very Sexy Russian 'Wordsmith'
If you're male and you haven't come across Marina, the very sexy Russian 'Wordsmith' before... then I can assure you you're going to enjoy this!
Marina Orlova is her full name... and she proves intelligence is sexy!
Marina is a YouTube celebrity and the lady behind (or is it in the forefront) of HotForWords, a site (apparently) dedicated to teaching students across the globe about the intricacies of language.... at least that's what the supposed basis is!!
As a way of introducing her to you (it's the best I can do I'm afraid)... here's one of my favourite recent videos of her, showing Marina teaching us... a 'Cure for Hiccups':
Apparently, Marina's love for words began because she wanted to learn English. "In Russia the best way to do that is to study philology, which gets into the origins of words," she says."This makes learning so much more interesting, and the result was that I eventually became a teacher for about 20 high-schoolers back in Russia.
It was a lot of fun, and the students never seemed to miss class!"
No, I bet they didn't. Hardly surprising!
Though she never planned on becoming an internet celebrity, Marina says it just happened. One day, she received an email that inspired her to reach out to new students, via the web.
"My two degrees in philology were going to waste and one day in 2006 a friend sent me an email which said ‘YouTube.com - check it out.’ That email changed my life! I immediately created a channel and started uploading videos."
The rest as they say... is history... as now, her videos have been viewed over 170 million times!!
With a new word each week, her virtual classroom grows daily. Her calendar girl good looks and intelligence have granted her quite an audience, but given the choice... would she rather be pretty or smart? "I'd rather be smart!" she says.
Yes Marina... quite right... me too!!
Call me an old cynic... and I really don't want to spoil any of the fun... but come on guys... I'm as red blooded as you... and there's no doubting the fact that Marina is delicious and sexy (and quite amusing too)... but you just got to see through this!! This is just a different (and clever granted) take on an age old idea... a new perspective in offering us red blooded males (with perhaps more money than brains)... SEXY ladies in the media!!
I bet my bottom dollar (not sure if that's a well chosen phrase) that Marina is not the only one 'behind' HotForWords... there's a hell of a lot more going on in that background... believe me... including a few clever techie geeks and marketing people!
But... do I care? Not a bit... in fact, I take my hat off to Marina today... for maximising her very obvious potential... and very attractive upfront future... in fact... I've joined 6,843 others and am now following her updates on Twitter... we don't want to miss our weekly dose of interesting etymology now do we??!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
RIP Jade
Such a sad irony... that she should pass away from us on Mother's Day.
Perhaps, in a way, it is quite fitting as her main concern in her latter days was all for her children and making sure she left behind enough to provide for them and ensuring they get the education and upbringing that Jade herself was never able to enjoy. She's left a great legacy for them... and maybe for all of us too!
My condolences to all her loved ones... who will forever have warm lasting memories of her!
RIP Jade! xx
Facebook Book of Condolences
Facebook users may be interested in this 'Book of Condolences for Jade'.
Cervical cancer screening prevents cervical cancer.
Cervical screening is sometimes known as the 'smear test'. At screening the doctor or nurse takes a sample of cells from your cervix using a spatula or a small brush. They examine these cells under a microscope to look for any unusual changes. Read more...
Help fight Cancer - Donate to Cancer Research UK
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Smithy tells England footie stars... what we always wanted to say
This was one of the best sketches on 'Red Nose Day' on the Beeb on Friday night.
Gavin and Stacey's 'Smithy' (James Corden) stumbled upon members of the England football squad whilst working on a plumbing job at their team hotel.
The charismatic handyman quickly takes the opportunity to deliver a unique team talk in order to inspire the players.
The England team players, John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, David Beckham, David James, Peter Crouch, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and Michael Carrick... all benefit from Smithy's undoubted wisdom... and tells them what we all probably would have loved to scream at them on many occasions!
Watch out for Beckham... who can't contain his laughter!
If you missed it on the day... you can still make a donation to Red Nose Day!
